Honesty is the best policy.

This means using a recent photo in your personal ad. Recent is defined as within the last month maybe two.  In additon, said photo should not be photoshopped to make you look better

Above all, be honest when describing yourself. No matter who you are, or what kind of person you are seeking, you have a better chance of finding that person — and with less disappointment along the way — if you are honest from the beginning.

Describe yourself first.

If you are over-weight then BE HONEST about it. Nothing hurts more than to get dumped or ghosted on after the first meeting because you were not honest. Using terms like BBW or BBM doesn’t cut it, euperhisms are what are referred to as a minimizers. Instead, be clear and upfront about your actual body size. Also avoiding the issue is just as obvious to most readers and you are NOT fooling anyone but yourself. Give them height and weight up front and deal only with those who are truly interested in you.

State where you live.

Unless you want replies from the other side of the planet. If you’re posting to a e-mail list or a Yahoo, MSN, Goggle or other such group put this fact in your subject line.

For example:

{Kansas} Female seeks Tin man with scarecrow body with heart of a lion.

Be careful to avoid creating an ad that is simply a mile-long list of characteristics you seek in another, without saying much about yourself. It is better to let the person reading the ad decide if they might be a match. This does not mean that you should say nothing about what you seek, just DON”T OVER DO IT. You do not want to be too picky.

Show don’t tell.

For example, it is much more effective to use humor in your ad rather than just saying “I have a sense of humor”. Show that you are an educated and intelligent person through interesting word choice, clear ad structure, and colorful and creative descriptions.

Creativity counts.

A personal ad can take many forms. A poem, perhaps. One amazing ad consisted entirely of titles — one right after another — of popular motion pictures, carefully chosen and arranged to describe the ad placer.

Show them what YOU would want someone to know. Make a list of the most important things that you would like to know about a person before responding to an ad. Chances are, others would like to know the same about you. If you work, in what field? Have you ever been married before? Do you have children? Are you looking to make some new friends, or do you want find one special person or are you poly?

Age isn’t everything, but…

 It is where a lot of people start. Be sure to include your age in the ad; if you do not want to give your exact age, narrow the range: “early twenties” or “mid forties” for example. If you are fifty but feel thirty, say so? If you are looking for someone outside your age range, give a range for the person you seek as well. Keep in mind that some people will be suspicious of a range that seems too wide — such as “twenty to sixty”, and this may limit responses. Likewise, a range too narrow (one to two years) also seems odd. Even those who fall in the narrow range might be hesitant to respond. Stating your age, and avoiding ranges altogether, is generally the best approach.

Details, details.

How many times have you read a Troll that states: “I enjoy Dominance, submission, and whips & Chains.“? This sentence describes millions of people! The idea is to make yourself stand out from the rest! Instead, name a recent movie that you enjoyed. List some of your favorite music styles, song titles, or artists. If you enjoy going out to Italian restaurants, or line-dancing at a country bar on Saturday nights, say so! Ironically, it is the very details that are often overlooked as being insignificant or boring which in fact add the color and depth necessary for a Troll to be truly effective.


Written May 2000
Posted Jan, 2007

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