I know a lot has been written on the nature of love. It is a subject that has been batted around since man first got past the “grunt” barrier with language. With this in mind, I doubt I have anything new to add, except how I feel.
In my lifetime I have found my soul-mate and lost her to the winds of fortune. For me this was probably one of the greatest pains in my life. Losing someone you love hurts, yes, but when it is the “one”, it is sorrow all its own. The only thing worse I can think of, would probably be having your child, your legacy, leave this world before you. I can only speculate on this since I have no children, so who am I to say.
It saddens me so many of our species have never seen a happy, loving relationship. We walk blindly through our daily lives, each of us with our own “view” of what love is. Often times this view is skewed and we know it. There are those of us who approach each relationship with a certain amount of negative expectation of failure before it even starts.
Relationships, I feel, are subject to this Magic’s law. If all you know is negative behavior when it comes to relationships, then that’s all you’re going to have. Often, the expectation of failure breeds failure.
My beliefs are really simple:
Love is about surrender, of one’s heart,soul, mind and body
Love is not about choosing only those who you can maintain a certain amount of emotional control with. Your goal should NOT be about minimizing your pain if and when it goes bad. It’s also not about doing what you think, your family, your friends or the social caste thinks is right for you. Love is about giving your all, hopefully to the “one” and they give it all to you in return.
Love is about giving your best. It is about looking into her / his eyes and being willing to sacrifice what it takes to make them happy. In return, they shall do the same for you.
“He who risks nothing, loves nothing.”
Thus, Love is about risk. A love relationship without some sort of risk, is a relationship without passion. Many of you reading this, have traded passion for a “mundanely” safe relationship, devoid of fire, chance and excitement. I wonder.. how many of you would do it again ?
Was it worth the price ?
Are you living ? Or are you merely existing ?
Love is about commitment. Commitment to yourself, your relationship and your partner. I don’t mean sexual fidelity, I mean deciding this relationship IS going to work and from day one setting out to do anything and everything you can to see to it. This means going to counseling, taking seminars and relearning how to communicate and taking the time to listen. Not only to your own heart, but that of the one you love as well.
Love is about support. This means that while she is away at a night course, you should be willing and happy to cook dinner for her and learn to do it well. Even if you don’t share the dream of the one you love, lift them and help them reach for that highest star.
Love is about life. If you have to stop being who you are to be loved, then you might as well stop living. For in a sense that’s what you have done. You have gone to sleep, most likely to never awaken again.
This is what I believe, this is what I feel. If life ordains it to be so perhaps someday I to will finally marry. I would like to think, it would have been with my soul-mate, for with her I would have had a family; a serious departure from my “no children” stance. But then as I said, Love is about compromise. Still, I know in my heart if I were to be a father, then I would be a good one. For I am man who takes his commitments very seriously and to be a parent is one of the greatest commitments one can make.
To me all I have said is not some fantasy or ideal. This was how I was raised, it was how I was taught, it was what I live .
But in the end no matter what, all this is merely my opinion, and Magic’s 99th Law says it best:
Magic’s Law # 99: “The Universe doesn’t give a shit what Magic thinks“.
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